The online tests also forced me to learn how to spell Massachusetts.

In 3m 14s

Click here to Play

EDIT: Ahhhh! I beat my score from earlier and ended up with a score of Pi – w00t!

(Don’t get it? Do the Math!)

We are celebrating with a grand party of catnipz and stringie.

The offer he is making is truly irresistible, the teleseminar alone is well worth $30 but the addition of a Free ticket to his live event is so unbelievable I had to re-read his email carefully to make sure I was reading correctly. I am certain the teleseminar alone is worth more than that. And I can personally vouch that he is a man of his word and will honor his guarantee, if the class is not for you he will refund you.

Who wants to join me?

Feel free to check out his main site, blog and Amazon Author’s page:
http://www.boldapproach.com/
http://boldapproach.typepad.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Dave-Lakhani/e/B001IGOMTK/

Do hurry thou, as the special offer only runs thru Jan 2nd, in fact if you don’t have time to look into it, seriously just go sign up anyway! Please note this is not an affiliate deal for me, I just really know this is right for me and trust Dave will deliver for you too.

Here is Dave’s original email
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Advance or Die!

I know that is hard for many people to hear. And because of that it is
important that you read this whole email, total reading time is under
three minutes.

When I write something like that people say “you are being mean!” In
reality though, I’m not, I’m saying the most compassionate thing I can
to you.

Advance or Die is a business and life philosophy that I began sharing
with my private coaching and consulting clients. To succeed and grow
in an economy like ours you have to choose every day, will this advance
or will it die. There are many things in our business that need to advance
in order to succeed and there are equally as many that need to die (old
beliefs, ways of doing things, people-metaphorically) that need to die
in order for us to move forward. And sometimes as hard as it is to hear
the business needs to die in order to be reborn in a new profitable form.
By making a choice to Advance or Die you are making a conscious decision
to take action on your business or yourself in a way that moves you forward.

It isn’t the economy that is killing us right now, it is stagnation and
inactivity, it is a general malaise that has crept over business owners
and thus buyers. It is hesitation to the point of damnation (of our economy,
our business, ourselves) that keeps us from turning the corner here.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.

If your business isn’t where it should be today, if you aren’t making
the profits you should be, if you aren’t getting enough sales, if your
marketing efforts aren’t working they way they did, you have a decision
to make. You have to ask this one simple question:

“What MUST I do differently than I have in the past two years to get
the results I need finally?”

What I’m going to say next is going to make you mad.

If you knew the real answer you’d have already done it!

I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out the best way to get
you the real answers to that question. Should I send a bunch of emails?
Well honestly, I know most of you don’t read them. Should I do a
bunch of blog posts? By the time you find them you’ll be well into
your year when you should be started on strategies that work. So I
decided to do a four part teleseminar and I want to invite you to
be on the call with me.

As you know, I’ve written a bunch of books including How To Sell
When Nobody’s Buying and Persuasion: The Art of Getting What You
Want. I work with companies all over the world helping them get
massive results. I just got back from Amsterdam where I spent most of
the month of November working with a company that grew over 65% in
what is arguably the worst economy any of us have seen. They learned
and applied the answers to that question above.

If you really are ready to Advance this year or if it is time to throw
in the towel, I want you on a very special 2011 Advance or Die
Business Acceleration call I’m going to do over four sessions in
January.

I’m going to walk you through the exact process I take clients who
pay me thousands of dollars per month to create sales and marketing
turnarounds in their companies. I’m going to show you step by step,
turn by turn exactly what to do in your business. I’m going to answer
your questions live and I’m going to record every word so you can
go back and listen again and again.

I’m going to cover:
1. The Top 10 Things You MUST Do To Insure Business Success And
Growth This Year
2. The Top 5 Small Business Trends You Must Adopt This Year If You
Hope To Succeed Long Term
3. The Truth About Marketing And What Works Today
4. How The Consumer Buying Process Has Changed And What You Have To
Know To Get People To Buy
5. How Sales Have Changed And Exactly What Sales Techniques You And
Your Team Must Know If You Hope To Win More business
6. The Truth About Goal Setting, Time Management And Focus Based On
The Latest Brain Research
7. The Latest Persuasion Breakthroughs That You Must Know About
8. 7.5 Business Acceleration Strategies You Must Implement Before
February 15th To Set The Course For Your Year

I’m not going to hard sell you on this, that kind of selling is dead and
gone. You can either make a simple decision or be the victim of inaction.

Is there a fee? Yep, $29.97, less than a dollar a day for the month of
January to totallyvtransform your business, less than the full retail
cost of one of my books to get my direct help with your business. I want
this to be an absolute “No Brainer” and I think that price does it. You
can sign up here
This price is only available until midnight January 2, 2011, on January
3, 2011, the price goes up to $297.00. Of course if you don’t like the
class for any reason, just let me know after our first call and I’ll
refund every penny you paid. I’m confident I’ll so over deliver that
you’ll think I should have charged more! There is no web page to go to
no videos, testimonials and this isn’t being offered to anyone but
loyal readers like you. Clicking the link advances you to the order page.
Fill it out and move forward with me.

In addition, because I know how important it is for you to be physically
ready for the year, I’m inviting two additional experts to be on the
call, the first is Matt Hoover, Ironman and winner of Season 2 of
The Biggest Loser. He’ll be discussing getting your weight and
fitness plan together. It is time for you to finally Advance before
you Die, Matt can help. And, I’m bringing on Dave Woynarowski, MD and
author of The Immortality Edge who will talk about simple breakthroughs
in life extension that will help you live your best life this year and
will share simple life extension strategies that you can employ right
now.

This isn’t going to be a call trying to sell you a bunch more, frankly
I don’t care if you buy anything else from me this year, this is the
most important thing I have to offer for business owners.

Oh, and one more thing, I’m doing a live 3 day sales, marketing and
persuasion event in February here in Boise. I’m going to give free
scholarships to come to the event which sells for $2500 to people who
sign up for this event and only for those people so if you’d like to
attend one of my exclusive live trainings, you must sign up for this
program.

Ok, that’s it for now, you have two choices to make right now . . .

Advance and Sign Up To Accelerate Your Business Now
or
Die – And Do What You’ve Always Done Expecting Different Results

And of course, this event is completely protected by a full
money back guarantee, if I don’t over deliver on business changing
content simply ask for your money back after the first class and I’ll
cheerfully give it to you.

I look forward to answering your questions and to helping you make
2011 your breakthrough year!

Warmly,
Dave Lakhani

Currently, Mark is running a contest to win Simpleology Business Coaching, part of which is random luck, from all entries five people get names drawn out of a hat and one lucky winner is chosen based on “best entry” which I am answering with fun & creativity. That I have in spades. What I could benefit the most from Simpleology Business Coaching is finishing. I have umpteen projects half to ninety-five percent complete. I change my mind as to what to focus on, I waffle, procrastinate, get easily distracted.

Part of the issue I have recently come to realize is that I am a scanner, as defined by Barbara Sher in her book “Refuse to Choose“

Sher identifies someone she calls The Scanner-someone who frequently has a multiplicity of interests, but finds it hard to create a successful life he or she loves because their passions and abilities are taking them in so many different directions.

I am still challenged by my health, which has taken a delightful turn in my recent realization that my attempts to manage my IBS have manifested into an eating disorder. As a result of my health, it is increasingly more difficult to continue to be a stripper, even though I have fun and still hold my own when I manage to get to work, I know in my heart it is time to move on and apply my talents to creating value and money in a way that will allow me the freedom to work from home on the computer as I continue to heal my body.

So here, much to Mark Joyner’s expected chagrin, I have funDivaized Mark Joyner:

funDivaized Mark Joyner

Now, I am so happy and grateful to be the delighted winner of Mark Joyners Simpleology Business Coaching and time will tell if Mark and his team can do the reverse: to Joynerize funDiva

Joynerized funDiva Logo

Now ideally, I wouldn’t post this til late in the contest, being the sneak that I am, cuz so far there’s not many entries and I’d love to have the advantage! However two factors are making me take action today – there’s no actual deadline listed, so my best guess is July 22nd and I’m busy with my 20 year (gack!) High School Reunion this weekend, if I don’t get it done now, I probably won’t and then I kick myself.

Digg me!
http://digg.com/d1wvEP (only works if you’re logged in!)
http://digg.com/business_finance/Joynerize_funDiva_Christy_Hoffman

Read Mark’s original blog post:
http://www.simpleology.com/blog/2009/07/simpleology_business_coaching.html

Trackback:
http://www.markjoyner.name/mt-tb.cgi/578

I love . . .
1.    Being on stage to great music
2.    Being handed money for no reason
3.    Making fun of people without them knowing it
4.    Being frou-frou girly
5.    My eyelashes
6.    When I’m having so much fun I lose track of time
7.    Feeling glamorous
8.    My creative ankle purse
9.    My SpongeBob purse
10.    When people think I’m silly and I don’t care
11.    Walking away from someone nasty into someone great
12.    As seen on Dancing with the Stars
13.    I can get my nic fix whenever I want
14.    I can take a break whenever I want
15.    Sticking bills to my sweating gives me a sense of hard work
16.    When people love and say yes to my USP
17.    When I geek people over for tips
18.    That I don’t require or have a cell phone
19.    My time is my own
20.    I can have a bad nites financially and still have fun
21.    When people acknowledge my job is tough
22.    Counting my money
23.    Making people smile
24.    Knowing I am a talented dancer
25.    Knowing I am a skilled marketer
26.    Being appreciated when I am helpful
27.    Oh why did I say 100!
28.    Looking more attractive than I really am
29.    When people compliment me
30.    Hitting song marks on stage
31.    Making people relax
32.    Dancing even if someone said I wasn’t their type
33.    Dancing when someone said they wouldn’t and they do
34.    Taking my solace in the back
35.    When I get a dance to a song I love
36.    When I get an extra dance because of a song they like
37.    When people round the tip higher than what I was secretly hoping for
38.    When I find bonus money – like a $20 in my ones
39.    When I am asked for a dance without prospecting
40.    My gowns
41.    My well McGyvered shoes (not the shoes the fact that I McGyvered them)
42.    When I look like hell warmed over and I just earned booko bucks
43.    Seeing great pole co-workers
44.    Being recognized by other girls
45.    Knowing that people notice me even if I don’t notice them
46.    Cleaning the bathroom
47.    My redbull cranberry drink
48.    Looking at the clock and knowing I could go cuz I’ve put in my minimum
49.    My body spray
50.    My peppermint scented lip gloss
51.    When people come to see me special
52.    Picking the money guy successfully
53.    Making deals that work to my advantage and make the guest love me
54.    OK I’m changing the title to 69, cuz well I can and even now the list of 100 seems too much!
55.    When people say I have a great personality and then they stumble hoping I didn’t take it as an insult
56.    When people guess my age under 27
57.    When I dance for kids that are early twenties and they don’t know how old I am
58.    That I have more energy than my 20-something co-workers
59.    That I make great money despite NOT being “the magazine comes to life”
60.    Tying my hair in a knot
61.    When people pay me to give me GOOD massages
62.    When people hand me money for no reason
63.    When I danced for a gay guy and he told me he was truly entertained even though he wasn’t attracted to women
64.    When people are impressed I remembered their names
65.    When people actually remember my name
66.    When people realize my boobs are real and love that
67.    My beautiful natural nails
68.    When girls respect stripper protocol
69.    When I use a line I’ve used forever and people think I’m so witty and smart
70.    When I make up a new line and I know I’m witty and smart
71.    Soaking in the bathtub after work
72.    Any YES that results in me earning money
73.    When I can tip someone who helped me and feel good that I have plenty to share
74.    When I get the stage to myself
75.    When people shower me with money
76.    OK so some of these are repetitive but you’re still reading aren’t ya?
77.    When I have a great nites that started out crappy
78.    When I hit a money target
79.    When I go over a money target
80.    Funny conversations in the dressing room
81.    When people think I’m smart
82.    When people are impressed I have a card/web site
83.    When people are impressed I have a Math Degree
84.    When I get to tell my Heisenberg joke to people who get it
85.    Hmm, too bad I wasn’t timing myself, I wonder how fast a hate list would have gone?!
86.    Unexpected courtesy
87.    Generosity
88.    Being told I have a great body
89.    Kindness
90.    That the club is beautiful
91.   The staff is friendly and professional – nice environment
92.    There’s 8 stalls in the ladies room
93.    Housemoms are always helpful
94.    When it’s easy
95.    When my timing is perfect
96.    When a customer is loyal
97.    Guys who dig me cuz I like hockey
98.    When people see me as a person and not an object
99.    Being thanked publicly for staying on stage
100.    When it’s my turn for shaking
101.    Being comfortable enough with my body to walk around almost naked at work
102.    Knowing I’m an Executive Stripper

OK that was challenging around the 20′s and now I know I could add more!

Go boobies!